There is nothing better than a Saturday morning. You can sleep in, you don't have to work, and it's even better when you have absolutely nothing that needs your attention. The only thing Leorio likes better than Saturday morning is Friday night. Not because it's Beer and Onigiri Night, but because there is always long, drawn-out, incredible sex. Sometimes more than once.

So when Leorio opens his eyes at ten-thirty-seven, he is already wholly satisfied and ready to face the day. He sits up sharply with an enthused "Yaaaah!" of a yawn.

And then he feels it.

"Here you go," Kurapika says, setting a cup of coffee before him. Its smell wafts up to his nostrils and Leorio inhales deeply.

He still feels it, but he isn't sure why -- and he's a doctor, so he doesn't understand it. Maybe he's overreacting. Or hallucinating. Or maybe he's shrinking. Wait a minute, I can't be--

"Leorio, are you okay?"

"Hah?" He looks across the table at his lover. "Don't I look okay?"

"No."

"Well, I'm not." Leorio frowns in thought. "Did you do anything... different... last night?"

Kurapika blinks at him, mug half-raised to his lips. "Different how?"

"Different like... painful different?"

Now Kurapika looks confused. "No, I don't remember doing anything out of the ordina--wait," a look of concern, "Leorio, you aren't... are you... ah, sore?"

Leorio winces. "A little, yeah."

Kurapika stares at him and is silent for a long time. Finally, he says, "Really," and hides his face in his cup.

"Hey!" Leorio snaps, leaning forward and pointing an accusing finger. "What was that just now?!"

"What was what?"

"That! That... smile!"

"What smile?" Kurapika asks, and it's still there, barely held back.

"That smile!" Leorio glares and points again, more forcefully. "And don't tell me you didn't smile because I've known you forever and you only smile like that when you're about to go down on me or something equally devious and perverted!"

"Hey," Kurapika sounds hurt, "I'm not perverted." He puts his cup down and gives Leorio a wounded look.

"The hell you aren't," Leorio grumbles. "But that's not the point. The point is, you're laughing at me when I'm trying to talk to you about something important!"

"I am not laughing at you," Kurapika soothes. "I just... well, to be honest, I did, for a second, think it was kind of... amusing."

"And may I ask why?"

"Well, because," Kurapika dips his head and glances up at Leorio almost shyly, except that he still looks amused, "I never had a problem accommodating you." And then he claps his hand over his mouth and snickers despite himself.

"Okay, you bastard," Leorio stands up with so much force he shakes the table, "if you want to start comparing sizes, let's just get out the measuring tape and--"

"Don't be absurd." Kurapika taps his lips as he thinks. "Are you sure you aren't overreacting, or imagining things? Or maybe you hurt yourself some other way, and think it's because of last night?" He notably does not even suggest how Leorio could have possibly hurt himself there on his own. "It's not like last night was a first for you."

"Why do I have to be the problem?" Leorio demands. "Maybe you're the problem, you know? Maybe you weren't careful? Maybe you just couldn't slow down?"

Kurapika visibly falters, looking at once apologetic and guilty. "But you didn't say anything," he points out.

Leorio glares at him.

"Well, I'm not psychic!" He gives Leorio an imploring look. "If I wasn't careful, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

The look is perfect. Damn him! "I want a list of schools you went to!"

"... Why?" Kurapika looks confused.

"... Never mind." Leorio waves a hand. "Look, I'm still mad because it kind of hurts a little bit to sit down--"

"I'm sorry--"

"--and it's all about communication, you know? If you're going to go and try something different, you should at least ask me beforehand."

"I didn't do anything differently!" Kurapika snaps. He stands up, too, looking angry. "And I would like to take this moment to point out that not once have I ever, ever complained! Not even when you were zigging when you should have been zagging!"

"I never zag when I should zig!"

"Oh, yes, you do, but you know what? It's okay, because I understand that sometimes you get carried away!" Kurapika snatches his coffee cup and pours the rest of its contents into the sink. "I'm going to revise the budget," he says as he walks right by Leorio.

"You do that," Leorio grumbles, turning his nose up. "I'm going out."

"Whatever." Kurapika pauses at the door to the kitchen and snaps over his shoulder, "Maybe you should put some ice on that."

By the time Leorio walks out his anger (it takes all of two blocks) he's already thinking of how to mend things. They fight all the time -- sometimes, it's how they show affection -- but they've never fought about sex before.

Well, to be fair, we've only been having sex for about seven months. Maybe we just never had the opportunity? All the same, Leorio feels awful. He knows they never mean to hurt each other, and Kurapika is right: The blond has never complained after the fact. Leorio is sure he's been unintentionally rough once or twice. They are only human.

He hopes working through the budget is expending all of Kurapika's anger, because he doesn't feel like getting the silent treatment when he goes home.

When he makes it to one of the major streets in the city, Leorio turns to start back to their apartment building. Then he pauses, thinks, I should bring something back. A present, or something. But what kind? How do you apologize for an argument about sex?

Then he remembers he isn't far from one of the sex shops. He laughs, No way! Because they've never used -- never needed -- anything but each other.

But then he thinks, Maybe something new? It would take the make-up sex to a whole new level.

He's heading for the shop before he even realizes it.

Kurapika decides that nothing placates him better than spreadsheets and good books. He considers himself an intellectual at heart. An intellectual who just happens to make a living beating people up and taking them to jail.

But he likes books, too!

And Leorio is stupid, but forgiven.

The front door opens and shuts, announcing his lover's return. Kurapika remains at the computer desk but calls, "I just balanced our checkbook. Come insult my prowess some more and maybe I'll improve our credit rating."

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" Leorio calls back, and Kurapika hears him taking his shoes off.

"I suppose."

"Good!" Instead of coming right to the office, as Kurapika expects, Leorio heads for the kitchen. Then there are the telltale noises of packaging being opened. "Your favorite color is still blue, right?"

"It was blue yesterday," Kurapika replies wryly.

"Perfect!" Leorio comes into the office. "Guess what I brought back?"

"... Your dignity?"

"Ahaha, you're so not funny. Anyway," he hears Leorio reach into a paper bag, "take a look at this." And then he holds the object in front of Kurapika's face; a flash of dark blue.

"GAH!" Kurapika lurches backwards reflexively, shoving his chair into Leorio and knocking it over when he stands up. Leorio cries out in pain, drops whatever it is he is holding, and stumbles backwards, as well.

"My toe!" he cries.

Kurapika, on the other hand, is more occupied with the thing that is now on the keyboard. "Leorio, what the...?" He points. "What...?"

Leorio is kneeling, rubbing his foot. "You know what it is, don't you?" He doesn't want to assume.

"Well... yes, but...."

"But?"

The blond gives Leorio a strange look. "It's blue."

"And very attractive!" Leorio adds gleefully. He stands up. "It was also expensive. Dunno why." Leorio has actually never really used vibrators before. Though there was that one time he fooled around with a girl and used one to make her come.

Of course, the one he used then had not looked anything like the blue one.

"And you," Kurapika speaks slowly, "bought this--"

"These."

"--eh?"

Leorio snickers and picks up the fallen paper bag. He holds it out. "Go on, put your hand in."

Kurapika immediately draws his hands back, looking wary. "Why?"

"It's a surprise!" Leorio puts on his best winning smile.

"Now I know it's bad," Kurapika mutters, but he reaches in, anyway. Leorio likes the way his blue-green eyes widen when he pulls the pink one out.

"So, so? What do you think?"

Kurapika's mouth opens and closes a few times before any sound comes out. "... I think I am never sleeping with you again."

Leorio sighs. "Well, then it's a good thing I bought the vibrators."

"I wonder how long the batteries last?" Leorio wonders, holding both models up and comparing them. The pink one is thin and sleek, decorated with beads along its flexible shaft. It has various speeds, though Leorio hasn't tried any of them, yet. The dark blue one is shaped more like a penis, with a rounded, curved tip. It's so smooth it almost makes Leorio want to jack it off. He puts the pink one down and rubs his hand over the blue one. "I can't believe how smooth this one is."

Kurapika slams his spoon down. "Stop playing with them at the kitchen table!"

"What, are you jealous?"

"Why on earth would I be jealous of a -- no, I am not having this conversation." The blond concentrates on his soup.

"I wonder what it feels like down there," Leorio muses. He rubs it against his cheek.

"My god, would you at least wash it first?"

"It was in the packaging! And I didn't stick it in anywhere!"

Kurapika rubs his temples. "I -- you..." he stands up and marches out of the kitchen. "I am going to take a shower."

"Want to take a vibrator with you?"

"No, I do not."

Kurapika is almost asleep when he hears the faint humming start up. He sits up quickly and twists around, one hand poised to strike. "Don't you dare!"

Leorio freezes, looking like he expects to get a black eye. "Uh, I was just playing with them. You know, seeing how fast they can go?"

Kurapika holds the position for a while, but Leorio is just sitting up in bed, so he relaxes. "Why don't you go to your own room for that?"

"Uh... this is my room."

"You know what I mean."

"Well, why don't you go to your room?"

"Fine, I will." And Kurapika starts to do just that, but Leorio catches his wrist.

"I didn't mean that. Stay?"

"Fine," Kurapika huffs. "But if you try anything, I'll shove the pink up your rear!"

"That's what it's for!"

Kurapika covers his face and moans.

For a few minutes, the room is quiet but for the low hum coming from the pink vibrator.

"Hey," Leorio ventures, "are you sure you don't want to hold it?"

"Quite."

"What about the blue one? It's better." Leorio holds it out. "Hm? Please? I did buy it because it's your favorite color."

Kurapika sighs, but accepts it. "I can't believe this. If a vibrator is your idea of a 'just because' gift, what are you going to do on my birthday?"

Leorio gives him a manic grin. "You'll have to wait and see."

He sighs again. "... It is smooth, though. Huh."

The other man chuckles, and then leans over and kisses his ear. "We don't have to use them tonight, you know. Or at all, really, if you don't want."

Now Kurapika is torn, because Leorio obviously wants to use them. "Well, what if," he hesitates, "what if we... experiment... tomorrow? Tomorrow's Sunday."

He feels Leorio smile against his neck. "Sure, we can do that."

Kurapika sighs again, but it's a contented one. "Though... I'm glad you didn't get a traditional skin-colored one."

"Why?" Leorio is running the tip of the pink vibrator up and down Kurapika's forearm, but he doesn't flinch. "Would it have freaked you out?"

"No." Kurapika smiles. "I just already have one like that." He drops his hand between Leorio's thighs, and the vibrators are forgotten.