When their doorbell rings, Leorio buzzes the visitor in without even verifying their identity over the intercom. He realizes this after he's already unlocked the building's door. It's a bad habit of his. Oh, well, he thinks, and isn't too concerned, because if, for some reason, it is someone up to no good, well, that's why Leorio married a Blacklist Hunter. Not that he can't defend himself adequately on his own, but. He thinks they are lucky, though, because they live in a nice neighborhood.
So Leorio sits back down on the couch and puts a hand on Kurapika's thigh.
"You just buzzed them in again, didn't you."
It isn't a question, so Leorio just makes a noise. "Hmm."
"What if it's some sort of salesman?" Kurapika asks. "The last one kept talking even after we shut the door on him."
"We'll answer the door naked and tell him excuse me, sir, but we were busy."
There is a knock on their door, and Leorio leaves a sputtering Kurapika on the couch to go and answer it. He swings the door open without even looking to see who it is.
"Hi!" the cheerful, familiar voice chirps, and Gon accompanies the salutation with an enthusiastic wave.
"Yo!" Killua adds, lifting a hand in greeting.
Leorio slams the door shut.
"Leorio!" Kurapika scolds, making his way toward the door. "What are you--?"
"Quiet," Leorio hisses. "Be quiet and hide the vibrators."
"Oh," tumbles out of Kurapika's mouth and he's gone in a flash. They had a session in the shower earlier, and not all of the evidence has been removed yet.
"What're you guys talking about?" Gon's voice, curious and confused. "Why aren't you letting us in?"
"Found them!" comes Kurapika's call from the bathroom.
"Sorry, sorry!" Leorio opens the door again, rubbing the back of his head. "Just had to make sure the place was clean."
Killua eyes him suspiciously. "Huh."
"So, so?" Gon grins at them and Leorio has to grin back. It doesn't matter how old Gon gets; at eighteen, he still has that childlike charm. "Are you surprised?"
"You bet!" Leorio replies. He takes in the two of them, notes their backpacks, and his grin widens. "What brings you here?"
"Surprise visit," Killua quips, walking right in and stepping out of his shoes. Gon follows suit, and they step into the spare house slippers Leorio and Kurapika keep by the door.
"Where's Kurapika?" Gon asks, looking left and right.
"Right here," the blond pipes up, appearing from the kitchen. "Were you two just in the area...?"
"Nah," Killua waves a hand, "but we don't need a reason to visit, do we?"
"No," Leorio says. "Of course not." He's kind of nervous, but he isn't sure why. It might have something to do with all the sex that happens in the apartment now.
"Of course not," Kurapika echoes. His hands are in the front pocket of his green kangaroo sweater, and Leorio hopes he is not hiding the vibrators there.
"Great!" Gon exults.
Killua, on the other hand, is looking at them with a critical eye. "Are you guys okay?"
"Yes," they reply at the same time. An awkward silence follows, and Leorio tries to find a way to break it. "How's... uh, how's Mito-san?"
"She's fine," Gon says, sounding pleased. "She likes it when we bring her back trinkets from around the world."
"She likes it when we're gone, too," Killua adds. "She says we eat too much."
"It's good to see you," Kurapika tells them, and makes to slip back into the kitchen. "You're staying for dinner, I imagine? It's, well, Fridays are nothing extravagant, but we could do take-out?"
"Friday is Beer and Onigiri Night," Leorio explains, and licks his lips. "We tried it once and liked it so much, we do it almost every Friday."
"Beer and onigiri?" Gon repeats, puzzled.
"I'll try anything once," Killua says. "Plus, we're hungry."
"We'll substitute the beer with a glass of sweet wine for you two," Kurapika says. "That's what I drink; I hate beer."
"More beer for me!" Leorio crows, but quiets when he catches Kurapika's eyes. "Uh?"
"I wouldn't," the blond warns. "You can get... friendly."
"Oh, yeah." He swallows, and then barks a laugh. "Wouldn't want to traumatize poor Gon over here, would we?"
"No," Killua agrees, "no, we wouldn't."
"Geez, you guys," Gon sounds exasperated. "It's not like I don't know what you're talking about." Then his brown eyes light up. "Oh, yeah! Which room did you have sex in last?"
"Wh-what?!" Leorio sputters. He hears Kurapika drop a pan and hopes there wasn't anything on it.
"Gon," Killua hisses, clipping his best friend behind the ear.
"Ow! What?" Gon glanced at Leorio imploringly. "I only asked because I wanna' know which room had more time to air out, you know?"
"Air... air out?"
"Gon, shut up, you dummy," and Killua is reaching over, clapping a hand over his friend's mouth.
"Mm-mm-mmm!" Gon argues.
Leorio tries to recover his composure, rubs his face with both hands. "Why... do you even want to know that?"
"Because we're staying over for a few days," Killua explains. "And I told him, well, I told him that you guys only need one bed, and that you'd probably let us use the other bedroom instead of the couch. Gon, here," he shakes the other boy, "just hasn't ever learned when not to be frank about sex, I think."
"Well," Leorio says, "I think a night on the couch would fix that, don't you?" But he shakes his head when Gon gives him a pleading look. "Gon, we aren't going to make you sleep on the couch. But anyway, what makes you two think you can just waltz right in and announce you aren't leaving for a few days?"
The grin Killua gives him is contagious. "Please. Like you'd make us get a hotel."
"You're right, we wouldn't. Hang on," Leorio gestures to the living room. "Make yourselves at home. I'm going to make sure Gon's audacity didn't make Kurapika faint, and then supper shouldn't be too long. I'll give you a tour, okay?"
"Sounds good," Killua calls as Leorio disappears into the kitchen.
"Well," Leorio whispers into Kurapika's ear, "that was unexpected."
"We have more than enough for four," Kurapika says quietly. "It'll be fine."
"How'd they know we had vacation this coming week?" Leorio wonders. He isn't upset; they don't see Gon and Killua nearly as often as they want to. But he's curious.
"That would be my fault," Kurapika confesses. "I talked to Gon... last week sometime." He looks over his shoulder. "You aren't angry, I hope?"
"No, no." Leorio secures his hold around Kurapika's waist.
"It's kind of strange, though," Kurapika continues. "They know, but they've never seen, so...."
Leorio shrugs. "They're fine with it."
"No, I mean, because we were all friends before, so maybe it's weird to see two of those friends become something more."
"It's weird to see it's almost eight o'clock and I haven't eaten yet," Killua speaks up from just outside the kitchen. "Hey, old man, get your hands off him so he can finish supper, 'kay?"
"Who's an old man?" Leorio shouts, turning to shake a fist at the snickering boy. "Sounds like someone could use a night on the couch!"
"It might be you if you don't behave yourself, ha!"
"That kid drives me crazy," Leorio grumbles good-naturedly, and then he pokes Kurapika in the side because the blond is laughing. "Why are you laughing? You're acting like I'm the only one who can be condemned to the couch."
"Oh? Then make your own onigiri."
"... That's really not fair, you know?"
Kurapika shrugs. "Take it or leave it." His tone is playful.
When they're alone, Leorio pursues arguments like this, and usually whatever task they are occupied with devolves into something else.
But that's when they are alone. They aren't alone, so Leorio just pokes Kurapika again and says, "I'll remember this, and there will be vengeance."
"Uh-huh." Kurapika doesn't sound convinced.
"Hey..." Leorio speaks directly into the blond's ear, "... where are the, ah, you knows, anyway?"
"Secret," is the reply.
"So, is it fun being married?" Gon asks the question with genuine curiosity, but it still makes Kurapika and Leorio pause and raise their eyebrows. Their synchronization is almost frightening, Killua tells them.
"Well," Kurapika starts just as Leorio begins, "Uh," and they pause again.
"You guys are funny," Killua laughs. "Gon, they aren't even really married. It's just that one day, Kurapika decided that since he already wasted years with Leorio, he might as well stay with him forever. Because Kurapika is weird that way."
"I," Kurapika starts, and stops.
"Hey," Leorio is put out, "he is weird -- I tell him all the time -- but that's not--"
"So how does it work?" Gon changes course. "Like, how do you decide who cooks and cleans and things like that?"
Leorio tries to remember. "Well, in the beginning, when we first moved in together, we thought of having the chore done by whoever was better at it--"
"But that would have meant I'd end up doing everything," Kurapika cuts in.
"--shut up, you would not have -- and eventually we just decided to take turns."
"Before you got married, you mean?"
"I guess? It's, um, the line is kind of blurred, you know?" Leorio scratches his head. "Now, it's pretty much... whenever, whoever, whatever. We're both pretty busy."
"I'm glad," Gon sighs happily. "I mean, I knew you two were like me and Killua, but...."
"But we're glad years together haven't driven you insane," Killua clarifies. "Bad habits, quirks, and so on." He grins again.
"It's not so bad," Kurapika assures them.
"Not even arguing for ten minutes over what kind of apples to get," Leorio insists.
"Or not washing sheets for months, I can't believe you sleep on those pillowcases."
"They wouldn't need to be washed so often if you'd stop drooling on them."
"You want me to get one and show everyone the stains to prove it?"
"I don't do it on purpose--"
"And he admits to it! You guys are my witnesses."
"Sure," Gon says. His chin in pillowed on his hands and he is watching the fight with interest. "Marriage is cool."
"Yo," Killua interrupts, "are you just arguing so you can make-up later?"
"No," Kurapika denies just as Leorio replies, "Of course."
Kurapika is having trouble sleeping. It probably has something to do with the way Leorio keeps humping him. He contemplates spitting on the pillowcase in retaliation.
"Would you stop it?" he hisses fiercely. But Leorio is fast asleep and can't hear him. He is too wrapped up in whatever erotic dream he is dreaming.
So Kurapika sighs, tries to cope, and tries not to push his bottom back into Leorio's erection. (It's a habit.)
Then he hears it: The thump, and the embarrassed giggles that follow. He stops breathing, forgets the sex fiend who can't stop even when asleep, and strains to hear what's going on across the hall in the other bedroom -- his bedroom.
The bedsprings squeak a bit -- someone getting back in? -- but after that, silence.
"No way." Kurapika sits up and almost actually gets out of bed before Leorio snorts, waking. Feeling silly, Kurapika settles down again. I'm probably imagining things. Probably. That, or his relationship with Leorio is compelling him to make hasty suspicions about Gon and Killua.
"What's wrong?" Leorio mumbles sleepily. Kurapika wonders if he's even awake when he asks.
"No way," he whispers again. "Gon and Killua can't be...."
"Gon and Killua can't be what...?" Then Leorio props himself up. "Wait, you mean I didn't imagine the bedsprings squeaking over there?"
"Shh," Kurapika urges. "Don't make any noise, you--"
"No way, they are not...! Okay, that's it." Leorio starts to shift.
Kurapika thinks Leorio is actually going to stomp to the other room and demand peace and quiet. He reaches out, intending to grab his partner's arm and hold him back. He ends up touching Leorio's chest because the taller man is moving onto him.
"Hey," Kurapika protests, almost forgetting to whisper, and Leorio's hand covers his mouth.
"Shh," his partner reminds him. Leorio's other hand quests between their bodies, searches and finds, and Kurapika's eyes widen. "We'll be quiet." He leans forward, whispers into Kurapika's ear, "I thought I was being considerate: No sex while we have company. But if the guests can do it in one of our bedrooms, then so can we."
But we don't know if they're even sleeping together! is what Kurapika wants to say, but Leorio's hand is covering his mouth and Leorio's other hand is moving.
"Is it okay?" Leorio asks, and Kurapika nods despite himself.
They are still wearing their underwear, but it's easy to get around that problem.
Kurapika is making coffee when Gon's bed-head appears at his shoulder and asks, "What does sex feel like?"
Kurapika is getting better at responding to things like this: He does not spill the entire sugar bowl into Leorio's mug. "... Why do you ask?"
"Oh, just curious," Gon assures him, and then follows him across the kitchen to get the milk, and follows him back again to the counter.
"Gon, is there any particular reason why you're right on my heels?"
"Un. Well, you know," he takes hold of Kurapika's hips, like he's examining some kind of animal, "I heard... things... like how when it's two guys, one of them can't walk straight the next day. But you're walking just fine."
"It depends on... no, Gon, you should discover this kind of thing with the person you like." Kurapika stirs his coffee and takes a sip.
"Does it hurt?"
"Not usually," Kurapika replies with some guilt.
"No, not just that part. The whole thing. Does any part hurt?"
"... Depends?" Kurapika evades. "There's tried and true, there's experimentation, there's... I'm stopping now."
"What about that?" Gon reaches up and touches the bruised bite mark on his neck. "Does that hurt?"
Kurapika starts, raises one hand unconsciously to cover the mark. He forgot about it, didn't realize the strap of his tank-top wouldn't hide it. "That," Kurapika explains hesitantly, "is the price of silence."
"Looks like it hurts." Gon leans closer to get a better look, and Kurapika draws back a bit, because sometimes he has trouble accepting that Gon and Killua are the same height as him now. "Want me to bite Leorio back for you?"
"Ah, no, I can do that myself."
"... I'm not answering any more questions."
"Hey, uncle, heard you rocked the world last night. Good man."
Killua says these things to get a rise out of Leorio, and Leorio knows this. But he likes giving Killua mock-whacks, so he reacts, anyway.
"And what makes you think that?" he demands, rubbing a fist into Killua's fluffy hair.
The younger ducks away, scoots farther down the couch. "Gon told me Kurapika is wearing one hell of a bite. That's enough to go by."
"You're one to talk," Leorio quips. "You guys woke Kurapika up. Thanks for that, by the way."
"Eh?" Killua sounds confused. "What are you talking about?"
Leorio blinks. "You and Gon. Your fun kept Kurapika awake."
Now Leorio feels awkward. Maybe Kurapika was right: Maybe the noises hadn't been at all what they suspected. "Sorry, we must've misunderstood--"
"Oh... oh," Killua laughs. "I see, I see. Nah, Gon's and my sleeping habits haven't improved much. We still move all over the place and one of us usually ends up on the floor." He snickers. "Last night, I kicked Gon right out. Then he tried to shove me out."
"... Oh." Leorio feels thoroughly awkward now. "Uh... listen, I'm really sorry, I hope I didn't...."
"Didn't...?" Something in Killua's tone changes, and his expression looks somewhat guarded.
Leorio sighs. "I hope I didn't ruin anything, in any way." Except that maybe he has, and he's not sure if he can do anything to fix that.
Killua relaxes back against the cushions. "Nah, nothing to ruin."
"Yet?" Leorio prods. "I mean, I should have known you guys weren't -- like, why wouldn't you have told us, right? But if you guys are... working on something...."
"Oh, I dunno what Gon's thinking, if he's thinking." A shrug. "Nothing yet. I'm, you know, kind of waving flags, but it doesn't help that we did all kinds of random things for each other before. Gon just doesn't see the significance."
"I see." Leorio thinks. "I take it just announcing your feelings won't work?"
"Like I'd...!" Killua makes a face and diverts his gaze. Leorio swears he sees a blush. "Anyway, you know how dumb Gon is when it comes to stuff like that. He'd just say, 'I love you, too, Killua!' and then ask for ice cream."
"Ah, so you do love him."
"I... dunno. How would I know if I feel love? How does anyone know if he's in love?"
"Ask Kurapika," Leorio suggests. "I think he's writing some kind of essay on that."
When Gon and Kurapika come back from grocery shopping, Leorio parks them all in front of the television and puts on a comedy. Half an hour into the film he says, "Gee, we could use some drinks. Come help me with that, Kurapika."
Kurapika replies absently, "You don't need me to -- ow! Okay, I'm coming."
"You guys need to work on your subtle," Killua calls after them.
"Yes, I know Gon and Killua are not having sex." Kurapika is rubbing his pinched arm.
"It was kind of obvious when Gon asked me how it felt." Kurapika's eyes flicker briefly to the door leading to the living room. "He's... very curious, though."
"And Killua is very interested," Leorio adds, and then they exchange whispered tales of past conversations.
"So what should we do?" Leorio asks later.
"Why should we do anything?" Kurapika wonders.
"Are you guys doing it in the kitchen?" Gon shouts.
"Yes," Leorio calls back.
Kurapika rubs his eyes. "Look, it's obvious they're both thinking, and if it's going to happen, it'll happen. It's Gon and Killua, after all."
"But it kind of gets to me," Leorio admits. "That they're both right there, feeling the same thing, probably, and neither of them is taking a step." He gives Kurapika a pleading look. "We can't even just give a hint? Send them on a date?"
"Don't rush them!" Kurapika orders, using the voice Leorio doesn't argue with.
"Fine," he agrees. "We won't." He smiles when Kurapika takes his hand and they return to the couch.
"Wow, that was fast," Killua remarks.
Kurapika wakes up at four-twenty-three because he hears a gunshot. It's from the television, of course, and he realizes Gon and Killua must have forgotten to turn it off before going to bed. So he untangles himself from Leorio and slips out of bed.
The living room is bathed in bluish light and Kurapika can see the remote lying on the end-table. Then he notices that Gon and Killua haven't even retired to the bedroom. They are asleep, fully-clothed and thoroughly entangled, on the couch. Gon's head is pillowed on Killua's shoulder, Killua's arm is draped carelessly over Gon's back, and the shadows from the television program are moving across their prone bodies.
Kurapika is afraid to move, in case he shatters the tableau.
"That's so cute." Leorio's voice, barely a whisper, and then the taller is at his back, smelling and feeling like warm sleepiness.
Kurapika leans back against him, briefly, and then steps forward to gently push the power button on the remote.
The television shuts off and the room becomes black.
They go back to bed.